Bittersweet
by amber3234
Summary: Olivia sat up a little bit so that she was facing him. "Brian, I need to tell you something." Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "What is it?" Olivia tried to shake the nerves away but, it seemed impossible to do. "I took a pregnancy test," she stated, bluntly.


**I couldn't help myself. This has been on my mind since we saw the preview on Wednesday so I decided to write a little one-shot about it. I'm really hoping it's not just a tease because I would be very upset. Whether she turns out pregnant or not (most likely not), I really want her to at least take the test.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy and please review. It's the only way to know what you think and I would really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or any characters you recognize.**

~SVU~

Olivia sat in her office with a stone look on her face.

Negative.

The results were negative.

She should've known better. She had been feeling sick lately so she had this crazy thought that she may be pregnant. Boy was she wrong. Wrong and heartbroken.

Brian is oblivious to the fact that she even took the test. She didn't know whether to tell him or not. She knew he wanted kids but, maybe it was too late for them. She didn't want to open up the subject and disappoint him.

She shed tears, walking out of that bathroom with negative results. But, she was the leader. She couldn't break down. So here she was, sitting in her office, staring blankly at nothing.

They had closed their case two hours ago but, she didn't want to go home. She didn't want to face Brian. She wasn't even sure if she was going to tell him but, the fact that she knew was enough to make her dread facing him.

The rest of the squad had already gone home when they closed their case. Nick insisted on taking her home but, she made up some excuse of having to finish up some paperwork.

It was hard for Olivia to hold all this in. She had always been used to keeping her emotions and feelings to herself but, that had all changed when Brian came into the picture. She started being open with not only him, but her squad as well. Now, with the results weighing heavy on her heart, she didn't know who to talk to. She hadn't told anyone.

Olivia took one big deep breath and closed her folder. She couldn't hide out here all night.

~SVU~

Olivia got home at a quarter to eight. As she opened the door to their apartment, she quickly saw the glow that shined through the apartment.

The lights were dimmed, there were candles set on their dining room table, and a meal waiting for her.

Brian smiled as she walked through the door; the shock evident on her face.

"You're finally home," he stated as he walked over to her with a bouquet of flowers.

"Congratulations, Sergeant Benson." He handed her the flowers and kissed her. "I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday."

Olivia smiled at this cute gesture. "Thank you." She kissed him then he took her coat and hung it up for her. "What is all this?"

Brian led her to the table. "I feel bad for not being able to be there for you yesterday. I just wanted to do something nice for you."

She smiled and sat in the chair he had pulled out for her.

"Here, I'll put these in water." He took the flowers and set them in a vase then set them in the middle of the table.

Brian made their plates and set one in front of his girlfriend. He sat down across from her and poured wine in their empty glasses. "So how was the ceremony?"

Olivia took a sip of her wine and shrugged. "It was okay, kind of boring."

Brian chuckled and nodded. "Who all went?"

"Nick, Fin, and Amanda. Munch couldn't get off of work and Cragen is well, you know," she answered. Olivia really wanted Cragen to be there. Though, he had called her and told her how proud he was and that he was sorry that he wouldn't be able to make it. Olivia was happy that he still cared about her, even though he was halfway across the world on a cruise.

Brian couldn't help but feel guilty for not being there. "I'm sorry that they couldn't make it. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it."

"This is one hell of an apology," Olivia joked.

He smiled at her at reached over for her hand. He held it gently in her and stroked it back and forth.

Olivia looked at him with a sad smile. Maybe she shouldn't tell him about the pregnancy test. I mean if he feels this guilty about not attending her promotion ceremony, she couldn't imagine how guilty he would feel if he found out she took a pregnancy test that came out negative. It wasn't his fault and he would have no reason to feel guilty but, that's just the kind of person Brian was. Especially because he knows how badly she wants a child.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked. He noticed she became lost in deep thought.

She let go of his hand and shook her head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" Brian asked, even though he didn't believe her.

"Yeah." Olivia took another bite of her food.

Once dinner was finished and cleaned up, they settled on the couch. They had a movie playing but, neither was actually paying attention to it. Both were just enjoying each other's company.

"Thanks for dinner, babe. It was really sweet."

Brian kissed the top of her head as he held her close. "You don't have to thank me. You only deserve the best."

Olivia sat up a little bit so that she was facing him. "Brian, I need to tell you something."

Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "What is it?"

Olivia tried to shake the nerves away but, it seemed impossible to do. "I took a pregnancy test," she stated, bluntly.

The look on Brian's face was of pure shock. He didn't even know she was feeling that way. "Oh, wow. Okay."

Olivia took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm not."

Brian looked at her.

"Pregnant, that is. It was negative," she explained further. The tears started making their way down her face.

Brian nodded his head and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Olivia wiped at a tear. "It was stupid. I shouldn't have even taken the test."

He gently cupped her face in his hands. "It wasn't stupid. We didn't use protection the last few times. It was possible. It still is possible."

Now it was Olivia's turn to be shocked at his last statement. "Yeah?"

He nodded and wiped the tear that just fell from her eye. "I want nothing more than to make you happy, Liv. I know how bad you want to have a baby. Honestly, I've always wanted kids but, I just thought it wasn't going to happen for me. Now, with you, I know that it can. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Bri." Olivia knew from that moment on that everything would be okay, no matter where life would take them.

* * *

**Sooooo what'd ya think?**  
**Please review, it would really mean a lot to know what you think.**

**You can follow me on twitter at amber3234. I've had twitter for awhile but have never really used it until now. I need to vent with my fellow svudiehards! So follow me and I'll follow back :D**


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